Ricky Martin has opened up on the burden of hiding his sexuality, admitting that at the height of his success in the 90s he was “sad [and] depressed”.
The Puerto Rican singer, who is known as the King of Latin Pop, released his first English language album in 1999, and went on to top the charts on both sides of the pond, with hits including Livin’ la Vida Loca and Shake Your Bon-Bon.
Despite his massive success, Ricky told PROUD RADIO on Apple Music that he couldn’t enjoy the period fully, because keeping his sexuality hidden began to take its toll.
“In 1999, the world was giving me back the hours that I had put into music, the hours that I had put into this career,” he shared. “But there was a very special detail that was not letting me breathe, and that was the fact that I was the king of the world.
“I wasn’t living to the fullest. I was sad. I was depressed,” Ricky explained. I would walk on stage to perform because that was the only way I could balance my emotion is to snap out of this heavy sadness that I was moving in. And then actually there came a moment that I said, we need to stop.”
The star was on tour in Australia, and set to head to South America, when he halted the jaunt and returned home. “I said, I can’t. I can’t do this. I need to go home. I need silence. I need to cry. I need to be angry,” he recalled.
“I put things in order and still I was not ready to come out, but I was open with everyone around me, but I just didn’t have the strength to make it public,” the hitmaker continued. “It was a very important link that I was trying to avoid. And then when I really did my work, spiritual work, I got to the place I was fighting as I was writing my book between saying, am I gay? Am I bisexual? Am I gay? Am I bisexual?
“Then I said, Rick, you are very fortunate, homosexual, man. You are gay,” he smiled. “And I wrote it and I pressed send, and then I cried like crazy. And I’ve been super happy ever since.
“So that’s more or less what I was going through when I was, livin’ la vida loca.”