Darren Hayes is enjoying life in the spotlight more than ever the second time around.
The singer-songwriter shot to fame as one-half of the duo (also starring multi-instrumentalist Daniel Jones), selling millions of records, winning 14 ARIA Awards and scoring a string of global hits including Truly Madly Deeply, To the Moon and Back, and Affirmation.
Following the duo’s split in late 2001, he embarked on a hugely successful solo career, but in 2012 the hitmaker decided to step away from music after becoming disillusioned with the music industry. But 10 years on, he’s back and better than ever, with new music and a positive outlook.
Crediting Kate Bush’s 2014 ‘Before The Dawn’ concert residency and 2017 coming-of-age romantic drama movie ‘Call Me by Your Name’ for sparking an interest in staging a comeback, he tells the May 2022 edition of Retro Pop: “The gay experience really hit me and really touched me, because I finally understood that wow, I was 24, 25, 26, at the height of my fame, therefore I was most famous when I was still struggling with my self-identification
“I had all this attention thrust at me when I didn’t know who the fuck I was. I had been married to a woman I was divorcing but in private. Most people didn’t even know I had been married to a woman and yet I was coming out and trying to express myself through my fashion, through all my Jean-Paul Gautier outfits, and painting my nails.
“I was so struggling with my sexuality and trying to find my place in a world before ‘Drag Race’, ‘Will & Grace’, Lil Nas X, Troye Sivan, or Will Young. Those people and pioneers didn’t really exist.”
The increase in representation and an increasingly diverse media landscape marks a welcome change from the climate in which Darren found early success, which he admits was “stifling”.
“My experience of being a pop star in the ‘90s was, ‘You’re fine as long as you’re not gay.’ You had all these boybands and teen heartthrobs but god forbid if you’re gay,” he explains. “It was incredibly suffocating and for me, as someone who was literally buried by a major label the minute I came out, it was incredibly stifling.”
The hitmaker adds: “There was a huge pressure back then to ‘out’ people and the misconception about me is that I was in the closet, but nothing could have been further from the truth. I was out, I tried to be so much more out because I thought, if I just came out, it would solve all my problems.
“It took me a long time to have self-love and get rid of the toxic shame in the internalised homophobia that a lot of gay men have to go through to come out on the other side and love themselves. I was very depressed and had suicidal thoughts during that period and, had social media been around that time, I don’t know if I’d be here. It was a really tough time for me. I did as well as I could, I’m proud of the fact that I lived an authentic life and throughout my music, even during the Savage Garden days, I was really desperately trying and asking for help in my songs.”
Now, however, things are different, and it’s a relief for the superstar to return to the stage in 2022 and feel liberated to present his authentic self.
“It’s much more vibrant and liberating to be an artist today… I never fell out of love with music, I think it was the industry actually,” he believes, adding, “I’m sure a 23-year-old will listen to my story and be surprised there was a time when you couldn’t be gay.”
Read the full interview in the May 2022 edition of Retro Pop, out now. Order yours or subscribe via our Online Store or use our Store Finder to locate your nearest stockist.
